Is there a Rosa Parks in Los Osos?

Los Osos, it's time to throw some tea overboard. It's time to not move to the back of the bus. It's time for some serious defiance.

But for any defiance to work in this case, you must work backwards.

If you've received a Cease and Desist order from the Regional Water Quality Control Board, the very first thing you need to do to successfully defy the Board is fill your septic tank with sand, or cement, or whatever they use these days to officially decommission them. That's exactly what the Water Board has been demanding since 1988, when they amended Resolution No. 83-13 to prohibit sewage discharges in Los Osos.

To make sense out of what to do next requires some foundation.

According to reports, the RWQCB has told Cease and Desist Order recipients that composting toilets are not an option in the prohibition zone. However, from a 2004 RWQCB document, where staff is explaining the Board's options in Los Osos, it reads:

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[All bolding mine]
Require Alternative Waste Disposal Units – The Regional Board could (through General Waste Discharge Requirements, Cleanup and Abatement Orders, or Cease and Desist Orders) require use of alternative waste disposal units.

Advanced treatment units (for improved effluent quality), portable toilets and/or composting toilets (for reduced discharges, as discussed in previous section regarding prohibiting black water discharges) could be required. Such units could be required for existing discharges using Cleanup and Abatement or Cease and Desist Orders, or for new discharges using General Waste Discharge Requirements.

Pros: For those existing discharges where such alternatives are implemented, water quality improvement will occur. If General Waste Discharge Requirements are adopted by the Regional Board which authorize development of vacant lots, then this method may also provide benefits similar to those described under the 'Rescinding Resolution No. 83-13' section above.

Cons: Widespread implementation of this alternative would result in more costly waste treatment and less effective water quality protection than that offered by the community sewer. However, it remains one of the few alternatives, which can result in water quality improvement and is not subject to Coastal Commission approval. The previous discussion about the questionable availability of this huge number of outhouses, would also apply to availability of other types of alternative treatment methods.
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Wow.

Notice how their "cons" have nothing to do with things like feasibility and nuisance, instead it says stuff like, "Widespread implementation of this alternative would result in more costly waste treatment."

That quote tells me two things: 1) Widespread implementation of this alternative is possible, and 2) "would result in more costly waste treatment," is not even close to being accurate, unless they mean by the reluctant few that hold out for a community sewer system, because that would "result in MUCH more costly waste treatment" for them. And even if it was more costly, the cost of "the few alternatives, which can result in water quality improvement" is entirely up to the property owner.

Then they say that composting toilets offer "less effective water quality protection than that offered by the community sewer."

How is that possible? What part of "zero" in "zero discharge" am I not getting? In reality, the use of such a system would dramatically reduce a household's water use, therefore aiding all kinds of water issues in the area, including the saltwater intrusion problem in Los Osos. It appears that hi-tech, environmentally friendly, composting toilets offer much, much more "effective water quality protection than that offered by the community sewer."

That means their only other "con" is "availability," and that's simply a terrible argument. Why don't we leave the availability question up to the composting toilet manufacturers? I'm sure they would relish the opportunity to make them available.

It appears, according to the RWQCB's own documents, there is no downside with composting toilets, and lots of up side, and if you ask me (and I'm sure just about every attorney not associated with the Water Board, as well) that all adds up to tacit approval to install a modern, hi-tech composting toilet system.

An excellent source knowledgeable in these matters recently told me, "They said what they said, [composting toilets are] on the table as a viable option. The decision (the dollar one) is for the discharger. As a discharger, it is my decision how I meet the discharge order (within certain codes and guidelines). Remember, the RWQCB never mandated a sewer, they prohibited a discharge."

Then the source added, "Seems to me it would make a great test case. Take one of those houses with the C&D and show the Board their working composting toilets and they should be off the hook... and that's a hook from them as well as from anything the County is cooking up."

To handle other sewage needs, like shower, dish and laundry water, you'll have to install an appropriate modern, hi-tech greywater recycling system. According to web sites, that system, through a series of filters, reverse osmosis, and other treatment methods, would clean your water, return it for reuse, and some models have the entire system under your house, out of sight. (What sucks about having to purchase a greywater system in this deal, is that if your septic tank is 30 feet or more above the groundwater, as many homes are in the prohibition zone, RWQCB documents state that you could be granted an exemption to Resolution 83-13 that would allow you to continue to use your septic tank just for greywater. But since they are a bunch of incompetent, vindictive, a-holes, they are not going to do that. And so they are going to force you to shell out for the cost of the greywater system, and to decommission your septic tank, just to cover their ass. Jerks.)

Septic tank filled with sand? Check.

"Advanced" composting toilets professionally installed to ensure that your only "black water" discharge is to your unobtrusive composting bin (that's housed in an attractive compartment in your backyard), and that the RWQCB considered requiring? Check.

Greywater recycling system in place? Check.

Generator purchased in the event of a blackout? Check.

Congratulations. Not only are you not discharging a drop of anything, but you now own a model home for handling wastewater in the most environmentally gentle method possible, at about a quarter of the cost of hooking up to a community sewer. And you didn't have to rip up your street to do it. Dare I say... better, cheaper, faster.

Now -- and here's the good, dramatic, tea-overboard, "No, Mr. bus driver, I will not move to the back of the bus," act-of-defiance part -- after your new systems are installed and operating perfectly, show up at your scheduled RWQCB meeting, and when it's your turn to appear in front of that group of... is "sadistic clowns" too harsh?..., bring a paper shredder with you to the podium, and, without saying a word, take your copy of the Cease and Desist order, hold it up high so everyone can clearly see what it is, flip on the shredder, pop that sucker in, and then hold the machine up above your head during the duration of the CDO shredding process, as the Board sits there and watches. They won't know what to say.

Then simply turn, and grin, and walk out of the room with your hand a-waivin'. Buh-bye Water Board, been nice knowin' ya.

And if they still want to come after you for violating Resolution No. 83-13, say, "I'll see you in court, assholes," where you will easily win, because you are not discharging anything but compost, and they are going to have to make the argument that compost is a discharge, and even if they do -- and it would be laughable to watch them try -- the compost can simply be trucked out of the prohibition zone by some enterprising septic business, and sold as fertilizer to the county for its golf courses, thus offsetting the cost of the systems, and it's still zero discharge in the prohibition zone. Oh, and one more thing, IT WAS THEIR IDEA!

Their arguments would be so weak, I can't imagine how they would pursue it.

Plus, as if it couldn't get any more embarrassing for the Regional Water Quality Control Board, they would be going after you because you chose the fast-track route that they said "will" lead to improved Water Quality. Man, that'd be fun to watch, and report on.

Win that, and you will, and everything sewer related in Los Osos will be in your rear-view mirror. Do that once, and there will be no sewer.

Is there a Rosa Parks in Los Osos?

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