Red Flag Warning for Coastal Commission Hearings

Los Osos? You have exactly one day to figure this out:

(you don't have to read it, just blur your eyes and look at it... that's my point)

San Luis Obispo County proposes to amend the Coastal Zone Land Use Ordinance (CZLUO), or Implementation Plan (IP) portion of its certified Local Coastal Program (LCP). The amendment updates multiple IP sections including: 1) Section 23.01.043c(3)(i) – Appeals to the Coastal Commission; 2) Section 23.04.186d3 – Landscape Plan Content; 3) 23.04.200 – Archaeology; 4) 23.04.210 – Visual Resources; 5) 23.04.220 – Energy/Solar; 6) Section 23.05.050 - Drainage; 7) Section 23.05.062 - Tree Removal; 8) Section 23.05.110 – Roads and Bridges; 9) Section 23.06.100 - Water Quality; 10) Section 23.06.104 – Municipal Wells; 11) Section 23.06.106 – Onsite Sewage; 12) Section 23.06.108 – Chemical Control; 13) 23.07.104c – Archaeology; 14) 23.07.170 - Environmentally Sensitive Habitats; 15) Section 23.07.172 - Wetlands; 16) Section 23.11.030 – Environmentally Sensitive Habitats Definition. The standard for review for the amendment is conformity with and adequacy to carry out the provisions of the County’s certified Land Use Plan (LUP).

... and, if all goes as planned, it will have a profound impact on your community, forever.

That blurry mess is what SLO County officials are asking the Coastal Commission to "amend" come Thursday, when the Commission holds hearings this week in SLO.

And the "Coastal Zone Land Use Ordinance (CZLUO)" that that blurry mess is referring to, that SLO County officials want to take a carving knife to, dictates every land use decision in Los Osos... every... single... one... of... them. (Along with every other coastal community in San Luis Obispo County.)

I have no idea what kind of "sewer-plant-site sleight of hand" is hidden in that mess, but, call it a journalistic hunch, I've got a 6-pack of Heineken that says it's in there.

Readers of this blog may remember how I showed last year that the moment county officials identified other "feasible locations" for a sewer plant to serve Los Osos, other than the unpopular, mid-town Tri-W site, it instantly became illegal to build a sewer plant at the Tri-W site, because the CZLUO says so:

"CZLUO Section 23.08.288d allows public facilities within ESHA only where there is no other feasible location."

Tri-W is ESHA, "sensitive dune habitat." And the county has already identified a basket-full of "feasible locations" that AREN'T "sensitive dune habitat."

So, when county officials sneak up to the Coastal Commission -- with a blurry mess of numbers, dots, semi-colons and dashes -- and ask them to amend the CZLUO in "multiple" places, friends, that is red flag time.

I don't have the time to go through all of those numbers, and letters, and forward slashes, and parentheses right now (I kind of looked through it, and I have no idea what it's talking about. It is so confusing. However, I did notice that some of those dots and numbers have something to do with "Onsite Sewage," and, "modifications related to identification of environmentally sensitive habitat areas (ESHAs)" ), but I'm sure our friends at the Trib will be all over it tomorrow to help clear it all up.


NOT! (I've always wanted to do that.)


Here's the link to the proposed amendment.

(Also, is it just me, or is there something weird with that file? My version has about 15 pages after page 1 that are blank, and then it appears to pick up where it left off... to add to the confusion.)

Here's what the Coastal Commission staff is recommending for the blurry mess:

"Staff is recommending that the (CZLUO) update be approved if modified as recommended in this staff report."

And, in case you need it. There's also another 70-page staff report to digest that deals with another confusing document that will dictate the future of Los Osos, and, in that staff report, the word "osos" comes up all over the place.

Gotta love land use planning, huh?

Here's the link.

Happy reading! I'm sure we all have time for it.

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