Briggs' Blown Opportunities

(Note: Did I hear something about a "letter writing campaign?" I don't know if it'll help, but here's my contribution... as always, SewerWatch style.)

TO: Roger Briggs, Executive Officer of the Central Coast Water Board
FROM: SewerWatch
SUBJECT: Blown Opportunities

Dear Mr. Briggs,

Let me see if I have this straight. Now you want to start fining Los Osos.

Now?

In your October 6 letter to the Los Osos CSD you say, "I remain hopeful that each of the Los Osos CSD directors will solemnly consider the long-range economic, social and environmental impacts to your community that would result from halting the wastewater project." Then you call for fat and crippling fines from the Central Coast Water Board.

Roger, I have one question. Where in the hell was that attitude six years ago? If you would have played that brand of hardball six years ago, I guarantee you, I am not writing this letter today.

In case you don't remember (and I know that you do), allow me to give you a quick refresher course:

Throughout 1998, you and your staff worked closely with the Solution Group. You tell them over and over again, that the sewer plan they whipped up over cocktails in a living room is not going to work in Los Osos.

Then, you sit on your hands and watch as the Solution Group's marketing campaign, developed by Pandora Nash-Karner, bamboozles Los Osos into believing that the deeply flawed project they whipped up over cocktails is "better, cheaper, faster" than the county's just about ready-to-go project.

In the run-up to the 1998 election that formed the CSD, the Central Coast Water Board staff -- that you were in charge of, Roger -- barely lifts a finger to counter Nash-Karner's aggressive, prolific, and less-than-accurate marketing efforts -- no community meetings, no flurry of badly-needed press releases, almost nothing from the Water Board staff. Just some wrist slapping, at best.

The Community Plan forms the CSD and gets Pandora Nash-Karner, Stan Gustafson and Gordon Hensley elected.

Roger, I want to give you an example of one of your slaps when you should have thrown an overhand right.

On March 4, 1999, just two months after the official start of the CSD, the CSD Board meets and unanimously dumps the county's project and begins their futile pursuit of the Community Plan -- a project that you already know isn't going to work in Los Osos.

Did you get an enforcement order "in front of their noses" at that meeting? No!

Instead you throw up this softball:

"The County's project remains the most feasible and timely project."

Nice one Rog. Thanks for that. I'm sure Los Osos really appreciates that effort. Scared 'em there, huh?

No.

Here's what you should have done on March 4, 1999:

You should have shown up at that meeting with enforcement action in hand, and said something like:

"Look, guys, I'm going to be frank. We -- and by "we" I mean the Water Board staff and you CSD Directors, because it's obvious that the rest of your community has no idea what's going on due to the Solution Group's confusing and less-than-accurate marketing campaign -- "we" all know that your gimmicky little "Community Plan" is not going to work. It will not be better. It will not be cheaper. And it definitely will not be faster. It can't be any of those things, because it is not going to work, as we, and a bunch of other water quality types, have been telling you for the past year.

So, with all that in mind, I'm just going to leave this enforcement order with you, and if you still want to pursue your unviable little fantasyland, you've been warned.

Now, I want you to listen to me very closely. If there is one friggin' nanosecond of delay due to your pursuit of that paperweight you call a sewer project, we are going to start fining you, hard and fast."

Roger, if you would have had that attitude at the March 4, 1999 meeting, similar to your current attitude, I'm not writing this letter today.

As you know, the initial CSD Board, that included former Solution Group members Pandora Nash-Karner, Stan Gustafson and Gordon Hensley, promptly ignored you at that meeting, then wasted the next two years chasing their ridiculous project before finally dumping it in favor of their next ridiculous project that also, fortunately, just got dumped.

That's three -- count 'em, three sewer projects (1. The county's plan, 2. The ridiculous Community Plan, 3. The Tri-W fiasco) -- that flamed out, in large part, because you chose to play softball with the initial CSD Board six years ago. If you would have played the same hardball in 1999 that you are playing today, none of this happens.

To make matters worse, you even had a couple of chances to slightly redeem yourself a year later, in 2000, but you blew both of them, badly.

Allow me, again, to refresh your memory on those blown opportunities:

In 2000, after already wasting more than a year chasing their dim plan that you knew was not going to work, the Los Osos CSD finally sends you a project for consideration. You look at it for about 10 seconds and see that it calls for partial sewering of the prohibition zone, after you specifically told the CSD that partial sewering is unacceptable.

Let's pause for a moment and think about what transpired there, Roger. You tell Pandora and crew that partial sewering is out of the question, then, after wasting a year chasing a plan that you already know isn't going to work, Pandora and crew send you a version of that terrible plan and it calls for partial sewering.

Talk about a snub!

The moment that first project report/waste-of-paper landed on your desk in 2000, you should have calmly picked up the phone, called Buel, and said, "fines are a-comin'."

Unfortunately, instead of making that phone call to Buel, which could have finally knocked some sense into the initial CSD board, you opted to pop out another softball letter reminding them that partial sewering of the prohibition zone is unacceptable.

That was your second blown opportunity to avert this disaster.

Amazingly, as you know Roger, there was one more.

After reading another softball letter from your office, Pandora, Stan, Gordon and Bruce promptly waste even more precious time chasing their dim plan and then sent you almost the exact same flawed project, that included partial sewering.

Un-friggin-believable.

Roger, when that second project report hit your desk, I have no idea how you resisted the urge to immediately grab a crow bar, drive down Los Osos Valley Road, walk up to the CSD office, pry open the door, ransack the office until you found the petty cash box, hold that box up to the faces of Pandora, Stan, Gordon and Bruce and say something like, "Consider this payment for fine number one-of-many, a--holes!"

At that time, the Water Board could have levied the largest possible fines at the earliest possible moment, and no one outside of Los Osos would have blinked. Your rationale for heavy-duty fines then would have been understandable, to the extreme:

• In 1998, you and your staff tell the Solution Group that their sewer project/paperweight is not going to work. They ignore you, and aggressively market the Community Plan as "better, cheaper, faster" throughout Los Osos. It gets the CSD formed and Solution Groupers Pandora Nash-Karner, Stan Gustafson, and Gordon Hensley elected.
  
  
• In 1999 and 2000, you and your staff tell the inital CSD Board that their sewer project/paperweight is not going to work. They ignore you, and waste two years chasing their dim plan.
  
  
• In 2000, you and your staff tell the initial CSD Board that partial sewering of the prohibition zone is unacceptable. They ignore you, and promptly send you a project that contains partial sewering... twice!
  

The arrogance that the initial CSD board showed in jerking around the Water Quality Control Board from 1998 to 2000, blows me away to this day. I've never seen anything like it (well, of course, other than the way the Los Osos CSD treated the California Coastal Commission). And Roger, that entire time, after all of that, you did nothing but a little wrist slapping.

And NOW you want to start fining Los Osos? Right when they can finally undo six years of Solution Group "out-of-the-box thinking" fantasyland?

Los Osos can finally, finally start cleaning up the mess of the Solution Group by building a reality-based sewer system, with an out of town sewer plant, without expensive amenities like an amphitheater, tot lot, $5,000 drinking fountains, and all of that other crap, and now you want to start fining them, jeopardizing that glorious process.

I'm having a tough time wrapping my mind around that logic. Considering how you allowed this issue to fester over the last five years, Roger, how can you possibly justify your recent actions?

Look, Rog, I understand your frustration. You and I, buddy, belong to a select group of people that actually know what happened seven years ago in Los Osos. That group includes you, me, your staff members, Sorrel Marks and Gerhardt Hubner, SLO County engineer, George Gibson, and California Coastal Commission staff member, Steve Monowitz.

Trust me, we all understand your frustration, and you have our sympathy. But of all the people I just mentioned, you were the only one that had the authority to avert this disaster, and you failed at every opportunity, and now you've released the dogs just in time to attack the rescue team.

Memo to the Central Coast Water Board:

Please don't fail Los Osos this time. It's not the current CSD Board's fault. Pull off Briggs' dogs.

Sincerely,
Ron Crawford

###