One Move From Checkmate

Los Osos CSD, you owe your old pal SewerWatch a favor, and I want to cash it in.

The State never saw it coming, and now they are one move away from being checkmated.

You've got them.

Here's the favor I'm asking: In your reply to the State's decision yesterday, do this:

First, agree to their ridiculous, democracy-ignoring proposal, then say something like:

"Fine. Unlike democracy-loving people everywhere that would very much enjoy telling you to jam that ridiculous, democracy-ignoring proposal up your backside, we, the CSD Board, agree to your ridiculous, democracy-ignoring proposal, and we will proceed with the current project if it means we get to keep our funding, because, without that funding, as you Soviet leftovers are very well aware of, we are dead in the water, so we obviously can't "do whatever we want," and you know that.

But now that we've agreed to accept your proposal that any random Dictator would find brilliant, we want to request one simple project change.

According to SRF policy, the "loan applicant" (in this case, us) can request a change in the project, and that change can be granted by the State Water Resources Control Board if they "concur."

Our one project change? We want to take out the $2.3 million park.

Checkmate.

The State does not have a response to that.

If the CSD were to say in their response to the State's decision:

"We cannot in good conscience build a multi-million dollar park with taxpayer's money, while communities like Mariposa County have a "$0" in their "Amount Committed" category in the State Revolving Fund loan program, therefore we request from the SWRCB permission to free up the $2.3 million from our loan that was going to fund the park we never wanted in the first place, and give it to Mariposa County for their $2.9 million, park-less sewer facility."

... it would be check-friggin-mate. A response like that would finally bring the park issue front and center where it belongs, and it would put the State on the defensive immediately.

What would the Water Board do? Not grant the request? They would get shredded by every newspaper from here to Sacramento (well, of course, except the Trib... there's actually an interesting update involving the Trib. They recently hired former New Times reporter Abraham Hyatt. That is a good thing. Abraham worked at New Times when they published my cover story Three Blocks Upwind of Downtown in September, 2004. I have spoke with him on a few occasions, and I know he has a nice grasp on the story. Perhaps now we'll see more from the Trib than just the he-said-she-said coverage from their turnstile reporters of the past.)

If the CSD is really, really lucky, the Water Board will say, "O.k. Fine. Build the plant at Tri-W without the damn park."

And that would be that... tip over the King, dust off the hands and call it a day. Because, as I have been writing about for over a year now, without the park in the project, there is no rationale whatsoever to build the facility at Tri-W. Obviously, the Water Board does not know that, and that's where the CSD has them.

According to the California Coastal Commission, "other alternatives (to the Tri-W site) were rejected on the basis that they did not accomplish project objectives for centrally located community amenities."

The California Coastal Commission never said, "other alternatives (to the Tri-W site) were rejected on the basis that they did not accomplish project objectives of reduced pumping costs."

The California Coastal Commission never said, "other alternatives (to the Tri-W site) were rejected on the basis that they did not accomplish project objectives of restricting the size of the sewer plant therefore limiting growth in the area."

And the California Coastal Commission never said, "other alternatives (to the Tri-W site) were rejected on the basis that civil engineers couldn't figure out how to run a pipe across a creek."

And, as we all know now, no one can answer the question on why the park is in the plan to begin with. (Uhhhg... that one hurts.)

Without realizing it, the Water Board yesterday said, "Although there is no rationale at all to build the facility at Tri-W, you will build it there anyway."

The Water Board would have nowhere to go on the park removal request. It would be checkmate. If they denied the request to remove the park from the project, they would be saying, "We don't care if there is raw sewage running down the streets of Mariposa County, we said we would fund an elaborate, multi-million park in Los Osos with taxpayer's money that is supposed to go to cleaning water, and that's exactly what we intend to do."

If they granted the request to remove the park, and still demanded that the plant be built at Tri-W, they would be saying, "Look, we don't care if there's no rationale to site the facility in the middle of beautiful Los Osos, you will build it there."

That would be a difficult decision to explain... to say the least.

I hear the CSD has until next Wednesday to respond to the State's proposal. How long does it take to print out this post?

C' mon CSD. Be bold and do your ol' buddy a favor.

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